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I gave my debit/ATM card to a friend and told them only to take out a small amount, but they took out more money. My bank/credit union won't refund the money. Does the bank/credit union have to give it back to me?

No. You authorized your friend to use your card. Your bank or credit union does not have to give you back the money. 

However, you will not be liable for transfers occurring after you notify the institution that your friend is no longer authorized to use your card.

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